I had something that seemed like an anaphylactic reaction on the night before thanksgiving. The ER doctor recommended I follow up with an allergist. I searched online and, though most offices had a long wait list, one office was able to see me within a month. And so I found myself in the office of Dr. Rolley McMansplainer.
I was brought into the exam room by a medical assistant holding a tablet. The MA asked me many questions, made copious notes, listened to me politely. I explained the reaction that I’d had, and that I’d never had any reaction like that before. We also discussed that I’d recently been stung by a bee and had an unusual reaction to the sting. Most of my family members are allergic to bee stings, I explained. He told me about what he thought would happen next: a scratch test and blood test for bee venom and shellfish. He asked me if I had any questions and if I was comfortable and told me the doctor would be in soon.
Some minutes later, the MA opened the door once more, but stood outside, holding the door open with his arm. Across the hall, another exam room opened and an older man (I’d soon learn he was the doctor. I’ll call him “Dr. Rolley McMansplainer”) rolled out of that room and into mine on a backless rolling stool. The MA followed him in, tablet in hand.
Dr. Rolley McMansplainer launched into a speech the moment his rolley stool crossed the threshold. I am not allergic to bee stings, Dr. Rolley McMansplainer, mansplained. Everyone reacts to bee stings and he wouldn’t want me getting confused by the results of any testing, so he was not going to perform them. We would only be testing for a shellfish allergy, which he was confident that I had. He asked if I had epipens at home or if I’d need a prescription. I had some, but I had a question about them, I said. “I have a history of AVNRT,” I began. AVNRT is a dangerous cardiac arrhythmia. Because of my cardiac history I’m cautioned about taking in too much caffeine, so I figured injected adrenaline was something we should discuss.
But Dr. Rolley McMansplainer dismissed this concern. Instead, he launched into an explanation of when to use the epipen. He instructed the MA to go get a handy instructional magnet which he told me to put on my fridge. He explained, “you know the word ‘organ’? An organ is like the skin, the skin is one organ, the lungs, they’re a different organ, the stomach, a third organ. Do you follow me? Tell me what an organ is.” “like the skin or the lungs” I replied through gritted teeth. “YES!” Dr. Rolley McMansplainer was excited now. “when you have severe symptoms in one organ, you use the epipen. When you have symptoms in two or more organs, you use the epipen.” He then continued to tell me about the testing plan. We would do two tests in the office that day, but he would want me to come back for further testing. He asked, “what is your schedule are you flexible to come back a few times?” and I replied, “well, I’m a professor, so I’m flexible now, while we’re on break, but come January, my time is not flexible at all.” “Oh! A professor! Where do you teach?”
“Boston University”
“Oh! What do you teach?”
“Anatomy and Physiology”
Two things happened at once. Dr. Rolley McMansplainer’s eyes widened and a howl came from the corner of the room. The MA was laughing hard, almost breathless. “and you were explaining to her what an organ is!” more laughter.
The last thing Dr. Rolley McMansplainer said before leaving the room was “I hated Anatomy, I almost failed it.”
I replied, “well, at least you learned what an organ is.”
Reader: what do you do in these cases? Do you stop Rolley McMansplainer in his tracks and explain early, or do you let him go and see what develops?
Note: I still do not know what caused the reaction or if I am, indeed, allergic to bee stings